Whistle While You Work

It has come to my attention that I have been tossing you guys chocolate morsels so to speak. "And to everyone... Dark Dove chocolates" (that's me pretending I am a queen and making an announcement as cannons shoot off  candies and confetti to you all). But who can live off delightful treats alone. Every once in a while, a girl (or fella) just needs a little meat and potatoes. So, it is at this time that I fill you in on the large portions of time spent out here.

As many of you know, I am working at a local elementary school here in the city of Redlands. This district is particularly hard to get into but with the help of some friends and the Lord's mighty provision, I was able to sneak in as a sub. I was not six jobs into subbing before I landed a part time (aka consistent) gig! This job began in January and consisted of the most fabulous schedule! I worked from 8 until 12:20 everyday. Just enough to rake in a few bucks while still allowing for ample wiggle room to cook, clean, visit with friends, grocery shop, do crafts, make things, run to jo-anns, glue my fingers together, make more things, and sneak in a soccer game or two. Oh, it has been an incredible blessing!

Real talk, at first I was a bit nervous because it was a public school and my experience with public school is more minimal than the rain California accumulates in a year. But, it was the door the Lord opened and I am not foolish enough to pass that up. One down fall with this type of job is that you do not interact with your coworkers much. They mostly congregate around the water cooler at lunch but just before that time, I am clocking out for the day. However, with the Lords goodness, I found I was getting to know them through random crossing of paths here and there and before you knew it, we were swapping digits! (in the voice of the minions) "WHHAAAAAAATTTTTT?" And just like that I was in. The teaching team I worked with at the school was so incredibly supportive, there was no choice for me but to succeed. Oh the Lord is so good.

But when the year came to a close, that particular job did as well. I had a ton of support as fellow coworkers kept asking me if I had landed a job or not. Now, in hindsight, I see that I was not setting myself up for an idea situation as we were headed out of the country at the beginning of summer and not returning back to Redlands but 6 weeks following. This would make for communication to be a bit more difficult. However, I felt fairly certain that if that job opened up at the school again, I was first in line. Unfortunately, August came and it didn't. That particular job was no longer an assigned position. The Lord goes before us though and on the first day of school, I got a call asking if I could be a long term sub. This is an EXTREMELY long story short (full of inconsistencies such as the district saying I am unqualified to teach but qualified enough to train the new teacher... yada yada yada) but, it is roughly 30 days into the new school year and day number one is the only day I've had without a job! The principal at the first school helped me find another long term sub job until Christmas and returning from Christmas, I have a job from January to April!! I mean, holy smokes... as He provides, He does not withhold!! Zach and I have been immensely blessed!



With all of that being said, Zach and I are in awe of the Lord's goodness and not so much California's education system. Each week I come home with stories that only provoke Zach's previous thought of, we may end up homeschooling our kids. So, with that being said: Bring on the jean jumpers. I'll go get my themed sweaters right away!

3 simple words

Life is super crazy_______. Always, I think, is the appropriate ending to that sentence, but I also have a history of welcoming crazy any chance I get, so I can't be entirely certain that that's true for everyone. So, instead, I will choose "over here." Life is super crazy over here. Sometimes it's like I'm Dorothy, picked up in the tornado, and spinning around watching all of these key elements fly by and then shocked at the end of the day when I close my eyes for some rest, because I made it through and all bits were accounted for. Even though I'm living it, it still surprises me. Between the rotating jobs, the different schools, different schedules, different coworkers, different principals, rules, policies, classrooms, and students... between the worries of starting a new year for Zach, adjusting to new schedules, new routines, new norms of late night studying, saying goodbye to friends graduating, welcoming new ones, coaching a soccer team, tutoring regularly, catching up on our bible study, trying to figure out what it is for dinner.... it's constant motion. And then I see I have a new message on my phone:

And my world stops. The tornado has vanished and I am left to hear only my heart beat. Like that of the ticking of the clock: reminding me that time is valuable. Three words strung together and oozing of innocence, telling me a simple truth that she knows. "She belongs here".

Wow.

But just as pain aching as it truly is, as much as it grips my heart and whispers a nearly silent song of deep homesickness, it also meets me at a place of peaceful bliss. Because it is this that proves that our families love cannot be extinguished by any amount of distance. For this be but a season, but no matter how long I'm, we're, gone away from her, I know I have a load of blonde haired love waiting for me when I come home. And perhaps even more important than that, she has a load of curly messy haired love coming back to her. Always. In heaps unmeasurable. She too will step out one day and meet the world of chaos and noise but for now, in her innocence, she has built a strong foundation of love.

My heart tightens knowing I can't explain to her why it is that I must be gone for right now, but I take delight in knowing that she already understands my heart. Some day I will be able to explain what Alan Alda says "You have to leave your city of comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition" was true for me when I told my Love that wherever he took me, I would gladly follow. I know she'll understand. She is my silly, wild, fun loving hooligan who, while making it terribly hard to be far away, somehow helps in keeping me going.

I praise my God for blessing me with grace in abundance as He has helped me every step of the way. He has turned this adventure into something of much beauty. I also praise God for their drawings in the mail,  photos of sweet smiles decorating the walls, and text from my sister like this:

Fiona told me when I have aboy I should name him Bryce. Or Benjamin or Charlie. Remy said, yea or Hurrican or Jenny or Mice.

because they sure make this vast separation a bit more small!

Flash Backs

(prepare your sing songy voice): WE'RE BACK!!!!

Zach and I made it safely back saturday night at 11 pm to the familiar welcome of our new home: two major highways were closed unannounced and it took an additional two hours to be picked up. You can bet we were missing Honduras pretty heavily at that time.

Now that I have had a solid day or two back in California, I wanted to do a flashback of some of my highlights:

1.

While one of the groups were visiting, we were given the chance to go into the local hospital, into the delivery ward, and see a baby be born. Despite earlier efforts, this was the first time I have experienced such an event. And let me tell you, I was warned up down and sideways by everyone, but let me tell you the truth: what I was not a real birth. It was a holly wood birth. These honduran women, I tell you something else... they all have the strength physically of Paul Buyan and mentally of Ron Swanson. Typically in Honduras, the women are taken to the delivery table only just as the baby is about to come. This woman in particular was on the table for about 8 minutes. There was no tearing... no screaming... nothing. She just moaned two or three times and voila, there was the baby. If I didn't know what was happening, I could have easily mistaken the whole experience for a woman enjoying a delicious pie. But that was NOT what was happening. So when all is said and done, I feel like I am walking away with the same way I entered: having an unrealistic view of what my birthing experience may be.

2.

These two! I mean, do people get cuter than this? This is a father and son who came in to the clinic; the son was deaf and so the father assisted him in communicating through made up sign language/charades. The only catch was, the dad was almost completely deaf as well. Dr. Martin would have to speak directly into the ear of his father while they both tried to communicate to the son. And the son NEVER stopped smiling. It was the best; he was the best! So happy!! Now when these fellas came out, Zach made sure I saw them. He told me the story of the older man needing sunglasses due to cataracts. To get these, he had to visit Zach in the glasses section... Zach said that once he got these fake ray bans, the posh attitude set in! He walked out of the clinic with those babies on and went right up to a table full of ladies. He just stood there. No teeth grin and all. Doing what he does!

3.

Across the street from the hospital, there is a high school that was established by missionaries from the states. While we were there, a group came to the school to give it a paint job. This above is, as you probably have guessed... part of the paint job. But what you perhaps did not guess was that the artist was blind. Cannot see, blind! I couldn't believe it. The outsides of the fish are done in puff paint, which he uses as a guideline and the rest is unexplainable to me. So magnificent! The fish are all spotted and he used that to create unity among the school grounds as each person that attributed by placing one fingerprint of paint  to help in the masterpiece.

4.

Down the mountain a ways, there is a church that is also run by American missionaries. The church they use now was built with the intention of being a three car garage (if that is painting you any kind of picture). It is complete with a thatch roof and three blue tarps for air conditioning (their purpose is to block penetration of the sun during the church services). Their new building is at least 10 times the size of the current one and has a stage, office, and storage area. We drove by the church one Thursday night while we were down there and the place was straight hopping! There were around 200 men there for the guys night playing soccer, being served dinner, and having a bible study. They also have a women's night and health promotion class. Church services and a soccer league.

 5.

 

This is Las Minas. Dr. Martin was insanely kind in planning a trip to this special village while Zach and I were out there because this is Zach's favorite place outside of the hospital. It takes about four hours one way to travel out there and you cross over many roads that look like the picture in the lower left hand corner. I know what you're thinking and yes, I am being quite generous with my use of the word "roads." When Dr. Martin was doing his residency in Med School, he was assigned the tiny village of Las Minas. He began to ask around, never having heard of the village, and quickly found out that he was in great company. No one else knew if it either. Finally, someone from Las Minas came into the city for a hospital visit and the doctor called Dr. Martin to let him know that he had a woman who knew where the village was. After that, it took Dr. Martin four tries to make it out there successfully due to the conditions of the roads (or lack there of). Zach is ultra fond of it because the hospital crew brings Christmas to the children; that experience alone captured Zach's heart. Because of this, Dr. Martin intentionally planned for us to visit this beautiful electricity free village for two days. During these two days, we had clinic and saw about 70 folks, some with the most incredible stories. For instance, this fella on the table came in complaining about not being able to work for an extended amount of time. While being examined Dr. Martin showed us seven bullet hole wounds. It turns out that two and half months ago while collecting bus fair money, he was being robbed by fellas who successfully shot at him seven times (four of which were in the abdomen). And here he is, two months later, working and shocked that he is having troubles. Man oh man we sure aren't in America any more.  Another woman came in and said that she had something hanging out of her between her legs. She went on to explain that she had five traumatic births and now she is suffering from this repercussion. Dr. Martin asked how old her youngest son was and he was over 2 years old. For TWO YEARS she had been dealing with this prolapsed uterus or bladder and went on living her daily life. These folks are champs! Something else that struck me as incredible was the way that they cooked. Because there was no electricity, they lived their everyday without a refrigerator. A lot of other things as well but a refrigerator most importantly. I simply can't imagine life without one. What do you do with leftovers? Leftovers alone is reason enough to have a fridge. And then in a close second is cheese. We had a family hosting us while we were there and let me just tell you, that woman could cook. Fried chicken for breakfast! I"M IN!!!! She made eggs and rice, beans and tortillas for every meal. (fun fact: the average honduran woman makes anywhere from 90-300 tortillas a day!). Above is a picture of our host family's husband who brought all of us coconuts. This is him slicing them open for us to drink. Oh they were spectacular! He usually spends his day tending to their farm (they raise and sell chickens) but was so excited to have the chance to bless us. 

6.

We had a busy schedule while we were down there- four straight weeks of hosting teams. But every now and then we would sneak in a zumba or insanity session and that was gold!

 7.

 This school was so fabulous! Our last group was an education group who came down prepared with skits, songs, and hygiene lessons as well as teacher gifts. At this particular school, I would have bet that they had a class on school yard patty cakes and songs. They had so many different hand shakes and merry go round type games. Poor chicas were trying so hard to teach us but we were too inbred gringos. We played these games for at least an hour straight while waiting for schools to start but once school started, we taught a hand washing lesson, a healthy eating lesson, and a teeth brushing lesson. there was a LOT of singing going on.... so, you know I loved that with all of my heart. #Americanidol

 8.

Just before we left, we scheduled a zip lining adventurama complete with a taste of hot springs. This was a highlight because of all of the breath taking views we saw. If you can get past Zach's smile, the picture really is beautiful ;). It was a lovely goodbye as we had already seen the heart of the country and also caught a glimpse of the outward majesty. 

It was a 10 out of 10. All of it.

Donya Elida Esmerelda

Everyone, meet Elida Esmerelda!

(she's the fox in the white  and blue dress)

Here I am just working in the pharmacy and away from all of the patients when Dr. Martin (the head honcho of this whole operation) comes in and tells me that he needs to show me something. So, I blindly follow him not quite knowing what our destination is. His leading me stops and I am left standing next to Zach, his mom, another mom and her baby, and another older woman. I smile but do not know who to look at and my face is definitely leaking my secret: I am more confused than anything else. Zach's mom shoots a glance to the older woman and so I focus my eyes there. Dr. Martin says, "Cassi, I want you to meet this woman. I think you and her look so much alike that you could be her daughter." (I wish she was smiling with teeth here because we do both have quite the gummy smile. As you may notice, smiling in pictures is not the Honduran way... so a no teeth was probably as close as I could get). I smiled genuinely and then went in for a hug, commenting on her curly hair and freckles. It was decided, she was my Honduran mom. Now apparently, this is no joking matter so when Dr. Martin translated it... someone else was simultaneously carving it in stone. Every time I saw her that day, through windows, in passing, whatever... we exchanged smiles and sheepish giggles. I finally had to have someone translate to her that I would work quite hard at my Spanish so next time I come down, she and I would be able to communicate. (Smiles, hand holding, and hugs only get you so far, I have come to find.... words would be nice to know as well). After having left, she and Dr. Martin about me coming by and seeing her house. Now to be honest, this whole thing was very much confusing for me. I am not sure if I was invited or if it was Dr. Martin's idea. I am also not sure if that gesture holds a certain amount of weight or what. But sure enough, as we were leaving the village, the whole bus stopped right in front of her house and Shell and I got out. There we are (above) with her family in front of her home. They were all on the front porch waiting for us... Super sweet! I introduced myself to my honduran dad and sister. Now Shell doesn't speak a lick of Spanish so this was somewhat a feat in and of itself. She asked me to tell them who she was so I very brokenly said "Ella es mi esposo madre"... immediately realizing that if anything I should have said ella es la madre de mi esposo. But thankfully, we had that mother daughter connection going on so Momma Elida understood. She took us into her house and showed us the two rooms that made it up. The first room had one hammock hanging in the middle of it and a few knick knacks set on a "shelf" running throughout the middle of the room. It truly looked more like a support type of beam than a shelf. She told us that the hammock was where all three of them slept. The second room held two rusted bikes in the center of the floor. Both broken and unridable and both having been there an extremely long time. And that was that. She was grinning ear to ear the whole time! (Kitchens are typically outside due to the heat so, that was something we did not see).

It blows my mind to see the differences in living and lifestyle. There are no pantry's here covered in snacks. There are no refrigerators for leftovers. No storage for superfluous clothing. No room for momentos or photos or glorified living by any standards... no chairs even. Yet even still, she was so pumped to show me her house and what she called her own. Now here is where I typically tell you what I have digested after processing but, nothing. I've got nothing so far. A part of me is saddened by push for cush in the American lifestyle but I am also saddened by the lack of what I call needs in this Honduran home (for things like a fan, an additional hammock, pillows, places to sit, etc.) But that's all I've got. I am not sure what to come of it. Perhaps that'll take time but for now, I just wanted to share with you the hospitality and kindness of your everyday Elida, the sweetheart.

The Recruiter

If I could have posted the reactions of all the permanent staff here at the jungle hospital as they were responding to Zach's return, I sure would have. They all kept saying "our brother has come home" or "it's like having a son return back home!" It was just the sweetest. And everyone was so thrilled to meet me. The doctor here, a few days after our arrival, said, "Zach, you told us that we would love her and I never fully believed it. She could never be as great as you. But you were right, we just love her!" However, now he has gotten one more name down here in the jungle. He was brother but now he is also 'the recruiter.'

Three days after we got to the jungle, one of the visiting doctor's and his wife went home and in exchange, they picked up Shell (Zach's mom), Coachie (Zach's Dad), Bosher (Zach's Grandpa), Galen (Zach's classmates twin brother) and Kelsey (Galen's wife). We joked about how in one foul swoop, Zach filled up the volunteer housing but in reality, this "recruitment" is just a snapshot of the deep love and support Zach has for this place.

For organizational purposes, I am going to break this up into two sections: Zach's family and our friends.

Zach's mom had been down here before as a nurse. In fact, she is coming again at the beginning of next year to teach a class to the permanent nurses so that they may be more qualified for labor and delivery. It was excellent having her down here because she knew some of the ropes and was sure to tell me how many drink filler packets I would need, how to rock the awkward fits of scrub clothing, which bathrooms I needed to take toilet paper with me, etc. All the important stuff! Now Coach and Bosher had never been here before; so, on top of the thrill that comes with putting names and buildings into years of stories to make the life- like, it was a huge blessing to have them help with DIY's here on campus. The hospital is working hard on trying to finish their labor and delivery facilities and as a result, Coachie and Bosh were able to help out with putting in sinks and toilets and fixing gutter problems, etc. Their handy work was considered an extra dose of gold as many of the volunteers come for medical assistance.

One of my favorite things we did while they were here was hike up to a rural village deep into the mountains. To get there, we had to take a bus for several miles and then finish the trek on foot. Now brigades usually take a hardy amount of luggage as we bring all of our own supplies: glasses, medicines, water, lunches, antibiotics, shots, toilet paper, etc. In light of this, the town usually brings down a horse to help with the totes. But sometimes, instead of providing a horse, they just provide an animal of a man... much like they did this particular time. He set that tote up on his back and went up the steep slopes while we crawled on all fours behind him.  Now, any Honduran would tell you that this hike we took was a 20 minute hike, but to the talented American, we were able to stretch that puppy out to a quick 50 minute hike with absolutely no time to spare. One of my favorite parts in particular was being passed by a 3 year old boy wearing crocs. Before we went on the hike however, one of the nurses caught wind of Bosher coming along (ps. for this brigade, Bosh and Coachie came along and put off their ground keeping duties for a few hours in exchange for seeing the rural countryside of Honduras). She went to Zach out of the goodness of her heart to have a little chat with him... making sure that Bosh understood how strenuous this hike was and getting a second opinion on his ability to complete it. Zach assured her, if anyone can do it, it's Richard Gray. And sure enough, we had exhausted our camel backs before he had even take his third gulp of water. The amount of sweat on our shirts told us we were far closer to diabetes than he is. After that hike, and having our giant water jug be carried up by Coach and Zach, everyone understood just how manly the name Gray is :)

If medical school has taught me anything, it has taught me that the notion of planning your future with your classmates is something you never outgrow. You know what I'm talking about... my very first neighbor and still life long best friend, Summerlyn Wells, and I used to live by some duplex houses. We always dreamed about living in one of them with our husbands and children. Thankfully, we have outgrown the duplex part but not the idea itself. It's a 24 year dream in the making. Zach has done the same thing with his medical school friends. He has talked all of them into studying different branches of medicine so that they (we) all can come down to Honduras to be the staff. Well, our one friend Gavin, is getting married this summer and so he could not use this time to get the first taste of his future BUT, he does have a twin brother who gladly stepped in to take his place. He is starting medical school next year and so, coincidentally, was also talked into the club of potential jungle folk. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Galen and Kelsey Mills!

Zach and I were the link between Galen and the hospital but we actually had never met them. Or contacted them in any form. (Let this be a testimony to the persuasive ways of "the recruiter"... just kidding, let it actually be a testimony of the Kingdom seeking hearts that are held by these sweet two: That they be so eager, willing, flexible, and determined to see all that the Lord is doing and take such delight in partnering with Him in whatever ways He allows). Nonetheless, we were ultra stoked to meet them. And then we did... and absolutely no amount of hype could talk these two up properly. They were such a treat to work beside. I mean, they came in knowing absolutely no one but straight up cannon balled it. No testing out the waters for these two champs. They traveled something of 14 hours by bus and then some to get to the hospital. Knew everyone on our team by the time they got up the mountain. Helped with dinner crew. Jumped in during clinic time. Helped with clean up. Answered to the surprise siren song of the talent show and rocked it! Gems. They were absolute gems. I considered it such a complete joy and blessing to work alongside them as they reminded me of the importance of words. It seemed as though each thing that came out of their mouths were either drenched in wisdom, or as sweet as honey. Each thought chosen delicately and used to build up, encourage, and glorify. I am incredibly thankful for their positive influence, humility, stewardship, and gratefulness as they raised the bar for humans everywhere.

Zach's creating quite the little team for down here ;)

Honduras: a day to day overview

Zach and I came down to Honduras just a few days after the Lee University team arrived. Their stay was two weeks long and as they said goodbye yesterday, I will use this time of recuperation to glance back and depict a general overview of jungle life. But first, let me just once again say that Lee produces some fine people, perhaps amongst the finest in fact! Zach tried to give me an accurate warning of Dr. Martin, a Lee alum, his wife and daughter (who is headed to Lee this fall), as well as Dr. Brown (Dr. Breezy) and Mrs. Boyer, professors at Lee, and Janay, Mrs. Boyer's daughter... but there was simply no way I could have prepared my heart for such warmth, hospitality, intentionality, quick wit, and storytelling. They captured my heart immediately... Zach sure knows how to pick 'em.

We arrived at the hospital on Sunday afternoon and brigade started the next morning. The week before brigades are planned, the staff of the jungle hospital goes out to surrounding villages and passes out fliers that records where their brigades will be for the next week. In addition to this, they always have the locations of the clinics posted on the front gates of the hospital. That way, come brigade time, we have a hefty crowd waiting for the goodness that Dr. Martin has been blessed with and has surrendered back to the Lord for His Kingdom's furthering. On average, we usually have to be ready to go by 7 am. Whether that means starting clinic at the jungle hospital then, loading up the bus and leaving to a nearby town then, or beginning our hike to a nearby town. On this schedule, breakfast is opened at 6am. Once we are on brigade, we have several teams. But first let me describe the idea of brigade to you. The hospital has brigades when there are large teams staying at the hospital. Because we have more hands and more doctors, the hospital is able to see more patients. Therefore, efforts are made to try and round up large groups and the patients are able to see the doctors at a discounted price. At first, Dr. Martin had no intentions of charging his patients, but he soon found out that because of the culture, the patients were not taking their medicine. In their eyes, if they are not investing anything, the medicine must be bad, old, or doesn't work (if you can think of any other words to add to this list of synonyms, let me know.) Because of this, he began to charge 50 limps (I think), equivalent to $2.50 for medical visits. Brigades however, only cost 10 or so limps ($0.50). Due to this change, the patients are consistently taking their medicine and coming back on a regular basis. Anyway, back to those "teams" I was telling you about: we have students doing several things on brigade days. 

1. we have childrens ministry where students play with kids while they wait to see the doctor or wait for their family to see the doctor.

 2. we have registration: this is where we pull the files or create files for the patients. We find out their name, age, birthday, if they need consult or glasses, or both. We assign them a number and then pass the file along to the triage flow.

3. Triage Flow: This person is in charge of calling people in our waiting area to move along from registration and onto triage.

4. Triage: These students weigh the patients, take their blood pressure, their heart rate, and on occasion, their sugar level. After this, their file is passed along to the Medical flow

5. Medical Flow: This person is in charge of all of the files after triage and keeps them in order so that they may call the patients out of the triage/ waiting room and onto seeing a physician. 

6. Physicians assistant: This person gets to sit alongside a doctor and listen really. They are in charge of documenting the name and location of the patient as well as what the patient is diagnosed with. This information is us ! ed to see if there are commonalities between illnesses and the location of the villages. 

7. Translator: Each doctor has a translator if needed that... well, if you can imagine, translates between the English speaking doctor, and the Spanish speaking patient.

8. Pharmacy: After the patient sees the doctor, the doctor sends his prescription to the pharmacy. The pharmacy has several students filling the prescriptions and then having them checked by the professor and sent out to a translator who delivers them to the patient. The translator teaches the patient how to take each medicine: from learning how to open a push down and rotate cap to how often it should be taken each day.

9. Glasses flow: this is the person who keeps track of all of the patients who are here to get their eyes checked. They are in charge of keeping them in order and calling them back one by one.

10. Glasses: I can't be entirely sure what happens here because it was an area I was not assigned nor moseyed around but I know there was some type of "check your eyes machine" as well as one of those letter charts you have to read from something like 20 feet away. 

If brigades were at the hospital, we could be done by lunch or a little bit later (12:30-2). If they were elsewhere, we were sometimes out until 4! After Brigade, we would have dinner around 5:30-6:30 and our incredible J team would have no time to shower to take a break as they all helped in making dinner an actual thing. After dinner, the J team would clean up as the rest of us hung around or repacked the medicine totes for the next day. The days would end in meetings or game night, or worship... and then it was off to sleep to start all over again!

Getting There (Honduras)

It's always the journey.

Well, it was Friday the 13th and Zach and I decided to push our luck.... on TRAVELING. Having a tire pop on our plane while landing from the Bahamas, losing all of our luggage and the airline losing our reservations in Alaska, getting rammed into a barbed wire fence by a dying horse in the Dominican Republic, having to sleep with complete strangers in Italy, being completely separated from my group on the flight to Europe, and sleeping in a hotel decorated with live roaches should have taught me that my luck with traveling doesn't normally play in my favors. But we rolled the dice anyway.

Our original plan was to leave for Atlanta and arrive at 10pm on Saturday but depart again for Honduras at 9 (but since we had the customs thing... we need to be at the airport shortly after 6am). If you're quickly trying to do the math in your head... it's not a long layover. And I'm not sure if we could have hand picked less visitor friendly hours. Since Zach and I were not doing much on Saturday, he did what he does best: researched, and tried a few different routes for extending our time at home. Now Zach and I purchased travelers insurance which we had hoped would cover a change of flight but we found out that this was far from truth. To switch our flights to a Friday flight would cost $200 each (no thanks) and to an earlier flight on Saturday would be $500 each (never). However, he did find that if we called 24 hours in advance of our departure time, we could be put on a list that would give us a possibility of flying stand by. Boom! That was our in.

Instantly we began to look up flights and like gold, there was one leaving at 1 am on Saturday. This would put us home at 8am Saturday and leave us with a 25 hr layover. Yes please!!! We couldn't stop ourselves from planning things that we would do with our family during all that superfluous amount of time. Well... we called some friends and scheduled for them to pick us up about 4 on Friday to have some dinner in L.A. and then off to our midnight flight. Like clockwork (literally), the 24 hour mark hit and we called up to get ourselves on that list! Much to our chagrin, we were put on a 2-3 hr waiting call back list. That put us right at the time we were supposed to get picked up. Sure enough, 10 minutes before we were supposed to leave, Zach got the call and the lady told us that she couldn't put us in the system because the plane was not in the same class as our original flight. Zach asked if we could move to another earlier flight and she said she couldn't get us in anywhere. He thanked her and hung up. Hung up folks. That is the important part. We waited 2 hrs and were now left with unanswered questions and hearts broken. Zach, with a face completely covered in sorrow told me the news. I asked if he tried to find out why they told us this was a possibility and now they are saying it isn't but he said "honestly, I felt so flabbergasted by her news, that I hung up out of disbelief." And he was SO sad... he wore it on all parts of his face as we spoke. I called back to find out that the wait list had moved up to 6-10 hours!!!!!!!! while Zach furiously looked online for other numbers to call.

We finally got on another waiting list that was only 3 hours long but decided that in the meantime, we were just going to head to the airport. I mean, if we are there and seats are available.... right? But this did mean we were risking being in the airport 14 hours early. Anyway, cut to the ending: we were at dinner when I got the call from the airline. I explained the situation and it hardly took any finagling before we were on the list. We got to the airport 3 hours earlier and praise the Lord we did, because "the list" had about 30 people on it and the check in board said that there were ZERO seats available. Thank you to the 7 who did not check in to the flight, for it is by them that we were able to sneak on! It was 1 am, and we were headed home to the best layover either of us has ever had. Coach picked us up from the airport and took us to the Grays for a hot breakfast and a solid nap (since Zach and I only got a few 20 minute sleep sessions in on the plane ride). Then, it was pool time, followed by lunch, and dinner at my house with Parker and the girls, a sleepover, and then a midnight gathering at wafflehouse with Zach's family all before we had to get back to the airport.

From there, it was smooth sailing... except that our luggage was sent on the wrong flight and we had to intercept it and recheck it in with hardly no time to spare. Oh, and that our second plane was small enough to fit inside of Evan's old hot wheel carrier. But the Lord was with us and our adventure started out with the loveliest of surprises.

I didn't sign up for this

Loneliness: check
Poverty: check
Homesickness: check
Long days: check
Plenty of times for crafts: check


But the stealing of my heart and then having it spread all over the US... that was something I did not plan for.

Aimee Diocares walked into our wives bible study meeting a little late but carrying a scrumptious watermelon she had just cut up from her garden. It goes without saying that by this act alone, she already had me hooked. After we did intros and other such necessities, she and I started talking. When I spoke, her eyes drank up everything I said. She was intentional in her actions and went out of her way to make me, alongside the other first years, feel welcomed. I left that night knowing that I had just met a potential friend. She perhaps did not know, but this chicas friend bank was about to get at least one larger.

Shortly after that night, I met her son, Asa. OH MY! His blonde hair and brown eye combo had my heart lassoed instantly.  I soon discovered that he is about the absolute perfect combination of sweet, imaginative, and playful. Plus, he had a swing in the middle of his living room.... so, we were obviously destined to be buddies. He was pretty shy when we first met though, so I asked him if he would give me a high five and he did. But I moved my hand. Then he smiled. And that was kind of it. One glance at his heart melting cheese McCheese and I knew that I'd be moving-my-hand-high-fiving him any chance I could. So it became our thing.

 It wasn't until a good amount of weeks later that I finally met her husband. If I could describe him in one real life situation it would be this: Juan, Aimee's husband, had never seen me on the soccer field but only knew that I played. One night, he invited me to play on his team because he thought that they would be short some players. I showed up and can only properly describe it as feeling like the red head goalie from "The Big Green," They were awesome and entirely put together, and I was sorely out of place. And Juan, he was all but the leader of them. We had a saying on Varsity Soccer: Juga Bonita "play beautifully." That was Juan. He was as swift as a coursing river, graceful as a gazelle, quick as lightning, and had a shot like a gun. He played smart, he played confident, he played in a way that brought the whole team together. He was everything you would like in a teammate, but he sat out that game on my behalf so that I could play (they ended up not being short players that night).

To quote one of Zach and my's shows, they are just "salt of the dang earth!" kind of people.

And so we met; they were our across the campus neighbors (just a bike ride away), and life was still humming along. She did her thing with Asa, I did my thing with teaching, and Zach and Juan did their medical school bit. Our paths crossed each tuesday with bible study, or on any nights we had soccer games. I'd say thats where most of Asa and mine's relationship started: on the soccer field sideline. I would fake high five him, he would fall for it. I would chase him, he would hide from me. I would tickle him, he'd steal a little bit more of my heart with each laugh. I would do the creepy neighborly thing and pop in on them every now and then just to spend a bit of the afternoon in fellowship. It was a lot like the beginning of all new relationships except somewhere along the way, a large piece of my heart had found a way into their hands.

Last night this beautiful family moved to Texas and it wasn't until their absence did I realize how deep my love, respect, and admiration for them was. I laid in bed last night unable to stop the tears from running down my cheeks (and conveniently into my ears as it typically goes with laying down crying) and quite honestly, did not want to. I welcomed the moment of happy grieving and therapy that crying provides. But I found myself trying to reason inwardly saying "Man oh man, I did not sign up for this." And I didn't. Well, except for technically I did because you do have to sign your name on a piece of paper for the wives bible study but... I digress. I came out here with every intention of getting Zach through med school and meeting some good folks along the way. Never in my wildest dreams did those "good folks" actually interpret into bosom friends... and for all of it to occur within 9 months! But despite my feeble attempts and lowly expectations, the Lord allowed for far greater things to happen. I didn't sign up for it, but He graciously placed it in my path. I now have a treasure chest full of "momma tips" from one heck of a Godly lady, nuggets of wisdom spilled out during many a bible study nights, a rocking new homemade bread recipe, and two pots full of "Asa's strawberry plants."

Every day I am finding more inevitable "love notes" to me from the Lord... reasons to give Him thanks.... and you, Diocares family, were on the list since the first day I met y'all. I'm thrilled for Texas and all of the blessings it is about to receive simply by y'alls presence. Thank you for stamping your mark on my heart. I love guys forever and ever.

My floating ax head

I walked in the door, set my groceries down, put a can of soup on, and washed my hands. I began to dry them and saw, it was gone. My ring was no longer on my hand. In that very instant, a blanket of panic and remorse fell over my body. I tried to control it, suppress it, anything, by telling myself that it just came off when I brought in the grocery bags but even I was having a hard time believing it. I immediately traced my steps back to the car, I looked in the car, I looked on the ground leading to the house, I checked the yard, I went through all of the grocery bags, in the trash, in the sink, on the kitchen and living room floor. Nothing. I ran back out to check in the car again as I texted Zach "call me asap." The four seconds I waited for him to call was a lifetime and I knew I would be an internal tornado of wreckage until I talked to him so I called him. I think you could properly describe my voice as horror, dread, and hysteria all dipped slightly in ugliest color of guilt. I began quivering the instant I started to talk. I explained the situation and told him that I was on my way to trace my steps back to the stores I stopped at on the way home from work. Zach was, in return, a cool spring of refreshing water. He was an unbelievable amount of understanding and a warm dose of comfort. He said he could stop his studying and come with me if I'd like. I knew that there was no sense in him falling behind on top of everything else so I went alone. I raced back to Stater Bros and thought I was in a state where I could hide my emotions. But at best I knew it would be like touching jello too early: a film of facade but completely formless and untamable at heart. Sure enough, I went to tell the cashier what had happened and asked if I could leave my number but immediately I started to cry. They were the most compassionate and gracious; a true blessing. I then went to the 99 cent store, target, and back up to school to scour the parking lots and such. No luck. The janitor tried his best to convince me that he sucked it up the vacuum and I felt the table turns as I spent the next few days trying to calm him down and talk him out of it. I just knew it wasn't so... we later found out that the timing of his vacuum was miscalculated but that is all neither here nor there at this point. I  went back home more zombie like than human. It was as though the life had been sucked out of me. Zach came home to find me face down planking on the couch. I was emotionally drained. He just put his arms around me and told me that it would be okay. And then we napped, per his request. I don't think there could have been a more precious gift in that moment; an hour and some change later, we woke up rejuvenated. Before I knew it, he had found somebody who could make hand molds of the original design for a very reasonable price! I called mom and started out on warriors of prayer. I called my GA mentors, my friends from home, my sibling, my CA friends, my church friends, and then mom did the same. I was getting emails and facebook messages daily about stories where someoned lost a ring or a diamond and when all seemed lost, it was brought back home to them. One friend, in particular, just sent me this text "Our God is the God of details, remember the floating ax head!"

In the middle of devastation, the Lord had given me comfort. I was endlessly blessed to know that I was not alone in this... to know that I had an army behind me who had my back: who was thinking about me, who's hearts went out for me, and who were praying for me. And more than that, I felt undeserved of Zach's grace. He never once got upset with me, blamed me, or made me feel bad for my actions. He was 100% forgiving and even more than that, encouraging. 

It was Monday, one week to the day that my ring had been missing. I told myself, I would not harass the places I went for updates until at least a week later. This was that day. Now, although it had been a week, and even though our sweet school-secretary asked me everyday if I had found it which proved to be a constant reminder of the sadness that had taken place, I was not without hope. In fact, I got to share that fact with many people at school. Each time they asked me about it, I found it to be a gateway to talk about the Lord's goodness. Plus, I was able to share the "ax head" verse and talk about how our God is the God of details. On Monday, my assistant principal asked me about it and I told her that it was still gone but I was very hopeful... I knew that  the Lord understood how precious the ring was to me and that He would not leave that unnoticed. So I left school and drove to see my friends and their four kids. When I pulled up next to the curb, I decided to call the grocery store instead of going in. It was found! Stater Brothers asked me to describe it and they confirmed!! They had it for a week now and had been trying to get in touch with me but couldn't get a call to go through!!! OHHH I was freaking out! I walked into my friends my house and said "MIRACLES STILL HAPPEN!!! They found my ring!!!!!" And there were shouts from every room. The four kids came running in bringing a tornado of excitement, the mom, Erika, gave me a big hug, and the dad, Chad, came out from the back  room saying "let's see it! This is so great." "Oh, well I only found out at your curb that it's found, I don't have it yet." I said. "Well, what are we still doing here?" he replied, "let's get in the car." And we all did. All seven of us. A celebratory drive to the finish line we had all been praying for. But just as we were walking out of the door, Erika called us back in and said, "I feel like we should stop and praise Jesus first. James (the oldest child), would you like to pray?" "Sure" said James. And then he sent up the most beautiful prayer. I can't remember how it went exactly but I know that this is how it ended "and please let Cassi obey you more. Amen!" It was awesome... but truly, is there anything more precious than a child's prayer? And he's right, I do need to obey Jesus more.

When we went to pick it up, Stater Brothers seemed more like a pep rally than a grocery store. Everyone seemed to be so thrilled for me and the young lady who originally took down my number was working again that day and exuberantly asked to see it. Two strange women joined in and gawked over the beauty of it as we told them the story. They, in turn, shared a similar story of their own and we closed the conversation by talking about how Good the Lord is. 

After we left Staters, I'm not even sure if I put the ring on my hand... I drove straight to the jewelers to have it sized... tight, please! There, I was able to share my story as well and talk about how wonderful our Savior is. But it wasn't until two days later that my view of the whole situation changed. I came into school and started spreading the word that my ring was found and our janitor approached me and pulled me aside. He told me that his son had lost his wallet and that it contained his first pay check, his drivers license, his food stamp card, and his social. He went on saying that his son was completely devastated as he told his dad but his dad told him my story. He told me that there was something in particular that stuck out to him: our God is the God of details. He told me that he was able to share that with his son and after they talked, his son found comfort. So our janitor asked if I would mind joining him in this prayer request. Well three days later, the wallet was found hallelujah! 

The whole experience was absolutely crazy! Upon reflection though, seeing how it broke down boundaries at school by providing a platform to speak Jesus' name as well as showing me how deeply I am loved by so many people (and all over the nation!), I wouldn't take back one single of day of the awful situation!

Blessed to Catch a Glimpse

Like so many other things in my life, this could have been another notch in my "flukey things" column... but I know better.

You know those friends who knows everyone there is to know... we all have them. They are fabulous to have and seem to have a way of keeping the world connected .They are like the original facebook. Anyway, I have one, and her name is Voni; in fact, you probably know her... or rather she knows you... it's just the way she rolls. Anyway, before I even made my way out here to California, she was already working her magic by pulling all types of strings to see if we could find me a job. After many had just not worked out for one reason or another, she contacted me one more time saying "I am not even sure if this is something you'd like to do but I have this friend...." and then continued to go on about the Boyds. It's funny looking back and seeing how it was that she asked me, as if it was one last dying hope. A shot in the dark. When in actuality, this is exactly the kind of thing I loved doing.

Chase Boyd was 18 years old when we met and about to start his freshman year of college at the University of Redlands. He was diagnosed with Duchannes Muscular Dystrophy at the age of 3 and after 15 years, could no longer had control over his hands, feet, arms, legs, neck, etc. Therefore, his family was hiring an aid that would assist him to class to take his notes, tests, and help him with homework. The Lord was so faithful in convincing his mom to extend me the job (even though I requested it be part time and shared with another aid so that I could start subbing and segue myself into the local school systems). To be honest, on that request alone I should have been labelled "high maintenance" and shown the door. But much to my delight, I was offered the job and started a week and a half later.

    Although our time on campus was only Chase's second day of classes, he was already the star of the show. EVERYONE knew him. We walked along the side walks to the tune of "hi Chase!", as it was tossed out as us so frequently. In all honesty, in his electric wheelchair, he was hard to miss... and due to his smile and personality, impossible to forget. His mom would check in on him by asking me if he was being polite to other people and making eye contact (like all mothers do) and I was always quick to suffocate her fears. For every time someone said hey to Chase in passing, he would turn his wheelchair around to see who it was and then offer a greeting followed by questions of classes and well doings. He was as much a gentlemen as I am Cassi. In class he always spoke up, made an effort to get to know his classmate, and worked incredibly hard. I mean, Chase even did the supplemental reading... ALL of it. I can't even say I did one supplemental or suggested reading in school. If it didn't say "required," it wasn't for me. But not Chase. He always went the extra mile. In fact, this is us going to class on Halloween. His Freshmen Seminar class had just been discussing the inappropriateness of Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke's behavior and so naturally, we ran with the irony and dressed up as them. We won the prize but I know the teacher had a hard time handing over the money out of pure disgust. It was genius. Chase was SUCH a sport. He loved it. He went all in!

But when I came home from break, I saw on facebook that he was in the hospital. I texted his mom and she informed me that he was not doing good at all. He went into the hospital and the doctors pumped 6 liters of fluid out of his body. They also said that his heart was insanely weak and they were floored tha the was still alive. He had progressed much further along in the disease than he was leading us to believe.

I couldn't believe it. I had just been with him 10 days earlier taking exams. Which he annhilated I might add. He got a 396/400 on his Religion exam! I mean Chase was a champ. But finally on January 2, he went home to be with the Lord.

Because it was Christmas break and all of his friend were home from school, they had his memorial 2 days later. Over 1000 people attended his memorial and then another 1200 streamed it online! I was devastated to miss it but so proud to have known someone who made such a difference in numerous peoples lives.

They had a service at the U of R in his honor a few days after Zach and I returned to California. It was a beautiful service in so many ways but I think my favorite was listening to Chase's dad talk about Chase, his little boy, and seeing the impact it had on Zach. Zach had yet to meet Chase but came along to support me. However, the moment we walked out of the service Zach said "I just need to apologize. I didn't comfort you the way I should have but mostly it was because I was trying to keep it together myself." In just storytelling, Chase's testimony of life had impacted Zach. 

A month has passed now and I still think about him everyday. I praise the Lord that he is no longer in pain and that the effects of my "flukily" meeting him will be eternal. In thinking about that picture above, I think going "all in"was Chase in a nutshell. He didn't have to go to college but he wanted to because he wanted to live his life to the fullest. He wanted to taste all that it had to offer. On our study breaks during homework time, we would surf youtube just like anyone else his age... trying to top each others videos. One time he pulled up a video he and his buddies made in high school for a school project. Every Thursday, we would do our "pro football pick'em" picks and he ended up finishing the league in first place! Bounded by a wheelchair he never let that stop him mentally. He was brave, strong, independent, knowledge hungry, courteous, thoughtful, intentional, caring, outgoing, and hard working. In just thoughts of him and replays of conversations that we had, he is still challenging me to be a better person today. 

Wacky Wednesday

If any of you grew up as I did with a narrow but very tall bookcase at the top of your stairs (perfect size for toppling over) and chock full of Dr. Seuss books, then you probably, like me, grabbed one or two or nine out each night and read. If this is the case, then Wacky Wednesday is no stranger to you. As you will remember, the little tike got up that morning and found a shoe on the wall. It was then he/she realized that today would be a very wacky day.

Well, going home, I too got a prophetic sign of sorts. Instead of a shoe on the wall, I got Denise Dooley. While waiting during our Arizona lay over, Zach decided to get us some lunch as I scouted out seats in the terminal. The place was packed but I seem to have found the last two seats next to one another (no thanks to the two jocks who sat across from me who decided that four seats would suit them just fine). Minding my own as I like to do (yeah right), a man came my way with the intention of taking the seat next to me. "Is this seat taken?" he asked. And being the awkward passive human being that I am, I decided Zach could take the seat across from us reserved by one of my jock friends' hockey gear. Plus, Zach was going to be a bit longer with the food and we'd be boarding in no time, I convinced myself. Now is an appropriate time tell you about this man. He was no ordinary man. He was John Candy by looks and actions, just not by name. He also had this little tuft of hair sticking out of his right nostril (I was luckily also placed on his right side) in a way that you would expect John Candy too. As an added bonus, my new friend Denise was a "hand placer" for lack of better term. Is there any better combo than a chatty cathy - hand placing stranger? I dare say not. As I sat listening to his wild tales of meeting Walt Disney and playing in a band with a man who went on to invent the electric drums as well as be the drummer for the Beach boys.... oh, and also nailing a semi permanent gig of doing sound for the red hot chili peppers... I looked at him steadily, trying to remember every detail as I knew I would be repeating it to my sisters shortly. However, this seems to be something that good ol' Dooley didn't recognize, as he continually checked in on me by placing his hand on my knee when he got to an important detail. (I kept thinking- Where the heck is Zach. And also, what more can I do? Is my very intentional eye contact not enough? I don't know how else I can say- Yo Denise, I am DEFINITELY listening to you). And right in the middle of those thoughts, Zach came to my rescue with food. Well, Denise picked up on this most quickly and said to Zach "was she lying? She told me no one was sitting here?" As I was trying to excuse my way out of it, the couple on the other side of Denise, oh so kindly placed their bags on the floor to open up an extra seat and scooted down so Zach and I could be together. Denise however, did not get the idea quite right and forgot to scoot down so the empty seat would be by me. Instead, he patted his hand on the empty chair to his left and said "oh goody, now you can sit here and I'll have TWO people to talk to." Not soon enough, we boarded the flight only to find out that our hydraulics were broken and it would be a two hour wait. Zach and I were the last people off the plane and you can bet that by the time we got back in the terminal, it was JAMMED pack. But like you probably expected, my eyes found my new friend and he waved us over... back to the two open seats he had saved us: one on his right and one of his left. While trying to blame this incident on him, he spoke up with confessions and took full responsibility. "Of course I was behind this all. I have SO much to tell you guys. Now, I figure I probably only have about one hour of material, but I factoring in some time for Q&A." And then, after about 2 and a half minutes of material (mostly about Arizona airport socks), he was off to buy some (which I was trying to convince him to use as sock puppets to kill our time in the terminal) . "Sometimes talking to the same people for a certain amount of time gets boring, so, I'd better run. I have some things to do." Those were his last words and he was gone.... but only for less than a minute when he came back with said socks and offered by buy us lunch.

It was very peculiar... and very much in the ways of my normal life. But also a good indicator of the goobers I'd be spending Christmas with: my family I love oh so much!