3 simple words

Life is super crazy_______. Always, I think, is the appropriate ending to that sentence, but I also have a history of welcoming crazy any chance I get, so I can't be entirely certain that that's true for everyone. So, instead, I will choose "over here." Life is super crazy over here. Sometimes it's like I'm Dorothy, picked up in the tornado, and spinning around watching all of these key elements fly by and then shocked at the end of the day when I close my eyes for some rest, because I made it through and all bits were accounted for. Even though I'm living it, it still surprises me. Between the rotating jobs, the different schools, different schedules, different coworkers, different principals, rules, policies, classrooms, and students... between the worries of starting a new year for Zach, adjusting to new schedules, new routines, new norms of late night studying, saying goodbye to friends graduating, welcoming new ones, coaching a soccer team, tutoring regularly, catching up on our bible study, trying to figure out what it is for dinner.... it's constant motion. And then I see I have a new message on my phone:

And my world stops. The tornado has vanished and I am left to hear only my heart beat. Like that of the ticking of the clock: reminding me that time is valuable. Three words strung together and oozing of innocence, telling me a simple truth that she knows. "She belongs here".

Wow.

But just as pain aching as it truly is, as much as it grips my heart and whispers a nearly silent song of deep homesickness, it also meets me at a place of peaceful bliss. Because it is this that proves that our families love cannot be extinguished by any amount of distance. For this be but a season, but no matter how long I'm, we're, gone away from her, I know I have a load of blonde haired love waiting for me when I come home. And perhaps even more important than that, she has a load of curly messy haired love coming back to her. Always. In heaps unmeasurable. She too will step out one day and meet the world of chaos and noise but for now, in her innocence, she has built a strong foundation of love.

My heart tightens knowing I can't explain to her why it is that I must be gone for right now, but I take delight in knowing that she already understands my heart. Some day I will be able to explain what Alan Alda says "You have to leave your city of comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition" was true for me when I told my Love that wherever he took me, I would gladly follow. I know she'll understand. She is my silly, wild, fun loving hooligan who, while making it terribly hard to be far away, somehow helps in keeping me going.

I praise my God for blessing me with grace in abundance as He has helped me every step of the way. He has turned this adventure into something of much beauty. I also praise God for their drawings in the mail,  photos of sweet smiles decorating the walls, and text from my sister like this:

Fiona told me when I have aboy I should name him Bryce. Or Benjamin or Charlie. Remy said, yea or Hurrican or Jenny or Mice.

because they sure make this vast separation a bit more small!