My floating ax head

I walked in the door, set my groceries down, put a can of soup on, and washed my hands. I began to dry them and saw, it was gone. My ring was no longer on my hand. In that very instant, a blanket of panic and remorse fell over my body. I tried to control it, suppress it, anything, by telling myself that it just came off when I brought in the grocery bags but even I was having a hard time believing it. I immediately traced my steps back to the car, I looked in the car, I looked on the ground leading to the house, I checked the yard, I went through all of the grocery bags, in the trash, in the sink, on the kitchen and living room floor. Nothing. I ran back out to check in the car again as I texted Zach "call me asap." The four seconds I waited for him to call was a lifetime and I knew I would be an internal tornado of wreckage until I talked to him so I called him. I think you could properly describe my voice as horror, dread, and hysteria all dipped slightly in ugliest color of guilt. I began quivering the instant I started to talk. I explained the situation and told him that I was on my way to trace my steps back to the stores I stopped at on the way home from work. Zach was, in return, a cool spring of refreshing water. He was an unbelievable amount of understanding and a warm dose of comfort. He said he could stop his studying and come with me if I'd like. I knew that there was no sense in him falling behind on top of everything else so I went alone. I raced back to Stater Bros and thought I was in a state where I could hide my emotions. But at best I knew it would be like touching jello too early: a film of facade but completely formless and untamable at heart. Sure enough, I went to tell the cashier what had happened and asked if I could leave my number but immediately I started to cry. They were the most compassionate and gracious; a true blessing. I then went to the 99 cent store, target, and back up to school to scour the parking lots and such. No luck. The janitor tried his best to convince me that he sucked it up the vacuum and I felt the table turns as I spent the next few days trying to calm him down and talk him out of it. I just knew it wasn't so... we later found out that the timing of his vacuum was miscalculated but that is all neither here nor there at this point. I  went back home more zombie like than human. It was as though the life had been sucked out of me. Zach came home to find me face down planking on the couch. I was emotionally drained. He just put his arms around me and told me that it would be okay. And then we napped, per his request. I don't think there could have been a more precious gift in that moment; an hour and some change later, we woke up rejuvenated. Before I knew it, he had found somebody who could make hand molds of the original design for a very reasonable price! I called mom and started out on warriors of prayer. I called my GA mentors, my friends from home, my sibling, my CA friends, my church friends, and then mom did the same. I was getting emails and facebook messages daily about stories where someoned lost a ring or a diamond and when all seemed lost, it was brought back home to them. One friend, in particular, just sent me this text "Our God is the God of details, remember the floating ax head!"

In the middle of devastation, the Lord had given me comfort. I was endlessly blessed to know that I was not alone in this... to know that I had an army behind me who had my back: who was thinking about me, who's hearts went out for me, and who were praying for me. And more than that, I felt undeserved of Zach's grace. He never once got upset with me, blamed me, or made me feel bad for my actions. He was 100% forgiving and even more than that, encouraging. 

It was Monday, one week to the day that my ring had been missing. I told myself, I would not harass the places I went for updates until at least a week later. This was that day. Now, although it had been a week, and even though our sweet school-secretary asked me everyday if I had found it which proved to be a constant reminder of the sadness that had taken place, I was not without hope. In fact, I got to share that fact with many people at school. Each time they asked me about it, I found it to be a gateway to talk about the Lord's goodness. Plus, I was able to share the "ax head" verse and talk about how our God is the God of details. On Monday, my assistant principal asked me about it and I told her that it was still gone but I was very hopeful... I knew that  the Lord understood how precious the ring was to me and that He would not leave that unnoticed. So I left school and drove to see my friends and their four kids. When I pulled up next to the curb, I decided to call the grocery store instead of going in. It was found! Stater Brothers asked me to describe it and they confirmed!! They had it for a week now and had been trying to get in touch with me but couldn't get a call to go through!!! OHHH I was freaking out! I walked into my friends my house and said "MIRACLES STILL HAPPEN!!! They found my ring!!!!!" And there were shouts from every room. The four kids came running in bringing a tornado of excitement, the mom, Erika, gave me a big hug, and the dad, Chad, came out from the back  room saying "let's see it! This is so great." "Oh, well I only found out at your curb that it's found, I don't have it yet." I said. "Well, what are we still doing here?" he replied, "let's get in the car." And we all did. All seven of us. A celebratory drive to the finish line we had all been praying for. But just as we were walking out of the door, Erika called us back in and said, "I feel like we should stop and praise Jesus first. James (the oldest child), would you like to pray?" "Sure" said James. And then he sent up the most beautiful prayer. I can't remember how it went exactly but I know that this is how it ended "and please let Cassi obey you more. Amen!" It was awesome... but truly, is there anything more precious than a child's prayer? And he's right, I do need to obey Jesus more.

When we went to pick it up, Stater Brothers seemed more like a pep rally than a grocery store. Everyone seemed to be so thrilled for me and the young lady who originally took down my number was working again that day and exuberantly asked to see it. Two strange women joined in and gawked over the beauty of it as we told them the story. They, in turn, shared a similar story of their own and we closed the conversation by talking about how Good the Lord is. 

After we left Staters, I'm not even sure if I put the ring on my hand... I drove straight to the jewelers to have it sized... tight, please! There, I was able to share my story as well and talk about how wonderful our Savior is. But it wasn't until two days later that my view of the whole situation changed. I came into school and started spreading the word that my ring was found and our janitor approached me and pulled me aside. He told me that his son had lost his wallet and that it contained his first pay check, his drivers license, his food stamp card, and his social. He went on saying that his son was completely devastated as he told his dad but his dad told him my story. He told me that there was something in particular that stuck out to him: our God is the God of details. He told me that he was able to share that with his son and after they talked, his son found comfort. So our janitor asked if I would mind joining him in this prayer request. Well three days later, the wallet was found hallelujah! 

The whole experience was absolutely crazy! Upon reflection though, seeing how it broke down boundaries at school by providing a platform to speak Jesus' name as well as showing me how deeply I am loved by so many people (and all over the nation!), I wouldn't take back one single of day of the awful situation!